It's All Led To This
by sunnywolf
Summary: America never thought it was possible. He had lost the revolutionary war. He had lost his chance of freedom. England was growing so cold. America is now withering away with every breath. Was it all worth it? Every step the two of them takes will lead them to what all their suffering was worth... (Revolutionary War AU where America loses the war) (UsUk)
1. Chapter 1: The Prisoner

Alfred struggled, feeling the pain of the shackles of his hands. He had been locked up in Arthur's basement ever since he lost at his failed rebellion.

How could he loose? How? He hated to have to free himself from England, but now England had turned into something else. It was his fault. He should of shot England right there when he had the chance, now he was an animal trapped in a cage.

"Damn it all..." He mumbled trying to get the cuffs off his bloody wrist.

England unlocked the door to his basement and headed down the winding steps, going to see how his defeated enemy was doing. He had figured out that Alfred was planning a rebellion against him, and when he did attack, he was ready to fight back. Arthur chuckled to himself, so of course he had won the war, he was one of the strongest nations in the world!

As he turned a corner he saw Alfred, his arms hanging above his head and against the wall in the shackles he had put him in. England stepped in front of him and smirked, "How's my little colony doing?"

America got up in England's face, the shackles on his feet and wrist keeping him from getting any closer. He wasn't sure how to feel. He felt mad, England was now treating him like some prisoner, yet he felt remorse. He knew this hurt England... It hurt him to have to tie him up right? One could hope he is doing this out of fear of losing America again and not doing this for power.

America struggled to free himself, not losing eye contact with the Brit. He was pretty bruised up, his left eye was a bit blackened and his body was covered in cuts in bruises, he ignored most of them though. His tattered clothing wasn't helping covering them up. He growled at England, glaring intensely. "Selfish bastard..." America snarled. England continued to smirk and grabbed America's chin, holding his face next to his own.

"My, aren't you looking at your best right now, all beat up and hanging like a weak little prisoner.." he scoffed. England let go of America's chin and lifted his own leg, kicking him back against the wall. England's forest green eyes shone of pain and grief for a moment as he stared at America, realizing what he had just done, but he then narrowed them angrily, remembering that this nation had tried to separate from him. He turned and walked one way around America, then the other, noticing all the bruises and cuts he was basically covered with.

"You might want to stop trying to get out of here, it's only causing for you to get more injuries. You're going to have to be punished for trying to do so now." England murmured flatly before roughly kicking America in his shin, then on the side of his stomach. America fell to the floor by the second harsh kick, coughing roughly and spitting out a bit of blood which he wiped off with his hand. England had been driven off the deep end by his thirst for power, and having as many colonies as possible would make him stronger. That's why he was determined not to let America go.

America daringly looked up at England, seeing his cold dead eyes sending chills throughout his sore body. He sat up against the wall, trying to catch his breath. England smiled menacingly, seeing how weak America really was, he could barely withstand a few kicks.

"I used to think you were scared to loose me, now I see how it really is..." America snarled then coughed again. "You never cared, you just wanted power!" He snapped at England, his eyes growing fierce with hatred. He knew it would break England's heart to be let go but he hadn't thought about what would happen of he lost. He didn't know what defeat was.

"Scared? Why in god's name would I be scared? Even if I lost to you and you left me I would still be incredibly powerful, but you're right, the main reason I wanted to keep you as a colony is so that I could have your country as an ally, working for me. I never really did care for you.." England laughed.

America spit in England's general direction wanting him to back off, but England merely avoided it. He tugged at the shackles around his wrist again, causing a clanging and clinking sound of the chains. America growled, determined not to give up. This seemed not for freedom anymore, it was for his own safety.

England only moved closer to him and grabbed a handful of his hair, pulling America's head up so he could look at him. America groaned. "Look at you, growling like the pathetic animal you are you coward..." England paused and kicked him again, in the side once more. America coughed violently. "And you better stop playing with those chains unless you want me to tighten them." He spat angrily.

"I'm not the coward... You are keeping someone locked up so tight and just using someone. It proves you need me," he snarled. He hated seeing England so darkened, no amount of kicks or punches could be worse then the pain in his heart. But their was no time to feel sad or feel the slightest bit of sympathy for England. This was war.

England frowned, "So you're calling me the coward? I don't think that's true, seeing you're the one that wouldn't shoot me on the battlefield.." He grabbed the chains with one hand so America couldn't move them and continued to hold a handful of his hair up with the other.

"That day I meant you in that field with France and Finland, I wished I would of gone with France you tyrant! " America. screamed with anger, tugging harder at the chains making his wrist bleed. He could only wonder what everyone else was going to do. This wouldn't end well, he knew England was going to start something horrible. Even though England was trying to put on a tough act, when he heard America say he should have chosen France instead of him he loosened his grip on the chains and America's hair, and stared at him, trying not to look shocked. He did have the American in his basement chained up like this, and he was being pretty abusive to him, but England was planning on un-chaining America sooner or later..as long as he didn't try to declare his independence again.

"Every king falls once they get too big, and you're digging your own grave..." he coughed out with a half smirk. England looked down at America, unimpressed. He kicked America down so he was laying face down on the ground, and put his foot directly on his back so he couldn't get up.

"That isn't necessarily true, I'm quite sure that I'm not digging my own grave." England said, rubbing his foot harshly against America's back. America coughed harder when England dug his heel into his back.

He could fight back, he was just too wounded and sore. He was loosing his vision from all the blood he had lost and from the unwrapped wounds. He snarled and sputtered up more blood, letting blood drip from the corner of his lip. He felt a bit cold but he managed to let out a weak smirk.

"What about all your other colonies? You surely don't think they wish to stay with you forever after what your doing to me, and there are other countries willing to help them..." America told England, his voice dry and faint. He had pain in his eyes but a brave look on his face.

England pressed his foot harder down on America's back, "Oh I'm sure my other colonies will stay with me, they really have no idea that I'm doing this to you. You're basically invisible to the world right now America, everyone thinks that we're living in peace. I do treat my colonies well, unless they misbehave like you did. " England rolled his eyes and chuckled, looking down at the younger nation and putting all of his weight on his back. America shrieked a little.

"...You are a tyrant, you know that now... You hear those innocent people crying but you do nothing to help them. It's just about power..." America mumbled, groaning at the pain.

"I'm not a tyrant, and I do help the people of my own country, of course. My country is superior and stronger then others, thus my people get a better treatment then the citizens in other countries."

"Still a tyrant. You may be good to your people, but you treat your others lower class. Trust me, they know I lost so they know what comes next. I have allies you know..." America managed to glare up at England, still groaning in pain.

England shrugged and scowled slightly, "So, what's the difference if I treat my citizens better then the people in other countries? I may help some of the other countries citizens a bit, but they cant expect me to give them the same treatment I give my people, we're far better."

"I'll die before I forgive you, now your becoming too big like Rome did, and we all knew what happened to him..." America snarled trying to push himself back up, forcing England's leg up a bit. England felt America pushing up his leg up a bit so he brought it up then stepped back down on him quickly. America huffed.

"What happened to Rome won't happen to me, I'm far more smarter then that git." England kicked America's head while keeping his other leg on his back, "And I have allies too you know, and they look up to me. I would be able to stop other countries from attacking me if they happened to do so." he said sharply with no emotion in his voice whatsoever.

England was becoming a tyrant. He knew that. Was it America's fault though? Did England even realize what was happening to him? It was like England was blinded by his own hate and greed. . Why would he even go this far to beating and locking America up? Then again, what would England have done other then lock him up for rebelling? He wouldn't just let him go. He didn't understand England's stubborn ways. America didn't understand himself. Was freedom too much to ask for? Or at least forgiveness? It hurt England to see America beat up and defenseless like this, but it was the only way that he could keep him from rebelling against him. America was locked up like an animal that wasn't tame.

"Stop moving, you're only hurting yourself more. It would be better for you to just stay still." England demanded.

"Why do you care if I get hurt more, you have already broken me up..." America mumbled falling back to the floor, not even struggling to get up. His breathe sounded more like a wheeze, and his eyes were dull. "Maybe I will stay still, maybe I'll die and stay still. You'd want that wouldn't you? You probably feel so powerful watching me die slowly..." He wheezed, not bothering to look at the harsh Brit.

England bit his lip and looked down at the American, listening to what he was saying. Did he want America to die? He didn't exactly hate him, if only he hadn't tried to separate from him. He took his foot off America's back and stopped kicking at him, he'd abused him enough for today. "No, I don't want you to die. Watching you die wouldn't make me feel powerful, it would accomplish nothing. Anyways, I still need you." If only America understood his way of doing things, maybe he wouldn't have tried to separate from him.

It was too late for America now. He didn't even bother to fight back anymore what was the point England was going to kill him their anyway. England was probably going to put the world into war, just so he could feel power. He'd probably watch all his people suffer just so he could feel the best. America didn't understand why he thought of England like that now, but the show he was putting on made it very clear how he felt, leaving America to not care for remorse anymore. Not care at the least. There was no forgiveness now. None.

England walked over to the side of America and tightened the chains slightly, making sure that he wasn't able to get away. He turned his back to America, "I'm going to go back upstairs now. I'll check back on you tomorrow."

America watched England then his back to him, and he tugged at his chains again not caring for any blood dripping out of him. He stared at England with cold sharp eyes, glaring him down even though his back was turned away.

"I'll be dead by tomorrow no need to come check on me," America snarled darkly, seemingly full of hate and sorrow. He felt cold on the inside, hating what has become of this. If England didn't want him dead why abuse him? If he still cared in the slightest, why torture him so? It confused America, making him feel more enraged and hateful.

England turned around and glared at America, then kicked him one last time, a smirk back on his face. "Alright, die if you want, but your country will still exist. I don't care what you say, I'll come down to check on you anyways, even if you're dead." After saying that he headed back up the stairs, turning off the lights for the basement before locking the door.

England ordered a servant to make him a cup of tea and sat down in a chair in his living room, waiting for it to be ready. Had he said the right things? Hopefully America had realized that he didn't want him dead, he just needed to get the point across that Alfred shouldn't have separated from him in the first place. Hurting America hurt England, and he wasn't planning on abusing him anymore, he had his fair share of punishment.

The servant soon brought England a cup of tea and he thanked them, before taking a sip. He stared off into space after drinking it all, thinking about what he had just done. Sure, he was probably either the strongest or second strongest nation in the world, but was everything he had done to get there worth it? He remembered all the innocent people he had to kill, how many was it now, a thousand? Five thousand? Ten thousand? England cringed and tried to erase the thoughts in his head, but they wouldn't go away. Power was a good thing, but maybe America was right, what if he got to the point that he had to much power, and collapsed, just like Rome had. England stood up suddenly, his plate and teacup crashing to the floor where they broke into many small pieces. He ignore his servants shocked looks and walked right past them, heading up another floor to his bedroom where he would go to sleep for the night.

America coughed up more blood once England had left, he had been holding it in so it spewed everywhere. He couldn't see anything, the cell was so dark. He couldn't even tell if be was still alive, he just felt so numb. He rolled over on his back, groaning a bit from the pain. He was hurt on every inch of his body. So much pain from the Brit... It wouldn't hurt as bad if he hadn't know or it wasn't England doing it. It was England, the one who raised him and loved him, who was now the one who abused him and looked down on him. That wasn't caring in anyway. Why should he even care about anything anymore, there was no light for him to see anymore. He sighed and coughed. "Better off dead huh?..." America uttered. He hated the fact he couldn't here anything but his own wheezy breath as he attempted to rest. He slightly scared him, the thought of dying. He wanted to do so many things but couldn't do them all tied up like this.

He couldn't do anything without freedom. He assumed it was the price he was forced to pay for trying to be independent. He sighed and hummed a bit, wanting to hear something. He couldn't stand the horrid silence. He felt something wet roll down his cheek. Blood? No it was... It was tears. He hated crying. America hated looking so weak. He always wanted to be a hero, but how could he in his current state? He ended up quietly sobbing himself to sleep, cringing at his pain and making his eyes sore from crying.


	2. Chapter 2: The Shattered

England yawned and sat up in his own bed, waking up from the sunlight shining through his window. He was in a good mood for a moment, having had a good nights sleep, until he remembered that America was in his basement as a prisoner, bruised up and hurt. He bit his lip feeling guilty for a moment, he would go check on him later after he had his breakfast. Hopefully America wasn't dead and would warm back up to him, it didn't matter how many days it took, or how many hateful words Alfred threw at him, he just wanted him to be able to be somewhat happy again and sort of free in his house, but not in the basement, held up by chains. England could only hope that Alfred would forgive him for abusing him, he had only done it because he needed to punish the American. He got out of bed slowly and got changed into his usual green military uniform before going downstairs to eat.

England tried to eat his breakfast slowly, worried about going downstairs to see America. He wondered if he would even forgive him, or if he would hold a grudge and never talk to him again. England knew that America was smart though, he would have to at least talk to him. If he didn't, England could just leave him down there forever to starve and die. He finished his breakfast after thinking for a bit, and headed to his basements door, unlocking it and turning on the lights. He slowly headed down the stairs and turned the corner to where America was and held his breath, hoping that he wasn't dead.

America laid in his corner quiet as a mouse. He was rather still sleeping or awfully depressed. He didn't react to any of the noises around him, he didn't even flinch. He just had his head tilted towards the wall so England couldn't see his face. England sighed in relief as he saw America laying near the wall, his head facing it. America didn't want to have to face England or anyone really. He just wished to stop suffering let be in peace, which would never really happen. "..."

England knew that America wasn't dead, because he could see the short rise and fall of his sides. England walked over to him and kneeled down beside him, shaking him by his shoulder softly.

"Erm... Alfred? Are you doing alright?" England asked quietly.

"..." he didn't respond. Just opened his dull eyes and kept staring at the wall, giving off a cold depressing vibe. Dress blood was splattered across his cheek. His breath was faint and almost like a wheezing noise. America didn't even look over at England he just tugged at his chains again.

England sighed once more and shook America's shoulder again, rougher this time.

"Alfred look at me, I know you're awake." He studied America for a second, noticing all the blood he was covered in. Great, he must have been coughing up a lot of it, which meant all of the kicking that he had done had probably internally damaged some things inside of the American. England began shaking his shoulder again, trying to get him to turn around.

America didn't turn over but he shrugged England off. "What the hell do you want... Here to make ne suffer again?" America snapped in a weak voice, coughing a few times. He didn't want to see that stupid tyrant's face. He didn't want to show weakness. America kind of wished England would shut up because he rather be all alone and left for dead. He had a whole new look on England and he didn't like it.

England let go of his shoulder and sat back on the floor, staring at America. "No, I'm not going to make you suffer. I just wanted to come down here and see how you're doing, to make sure that you weren't dead. I'm fairly sure that you're aware why I abused you like that, so you knew the consequences of leaving me."

"...Fuck off..." America snarled. England played with the sleeves of his jacket awkwardly, ignoring America's threat for him to leave.

"You know..it would be so much easier if you actually turned around, then we could talk face to face.." England muttered, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

America could hear the annoyance in England's voice. How impatient. He had no concern for America's physical and mental state probably. Even if he did try to leave him, was saying all those things enough? I mean, why not just lock him up for awhile? Why was making him suffer a good way to 'fix' things? He still didn't understand the Brit.

"No I don't understand why you had to beat me up so bad. And I don't understand why you said all those cruel things." He scowled, but he still didn't bother to turn around he just laid on his side. America clearly didn't like what England did, almost seemed traumatized and hateful.

England sighed yet again and stood up, of course America didn't understand his way of disciplining his colonies. His mind was telling him to hurt America a little more because he was misbehaving again and not listening, but hadn't he hurt America enough already..? Then again, maybe a few more kicks would do him good. England shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

"I'd better be off dead you don't even care," America mumbled, coughing again. He was obviously weak and in pain. Not that England was helping at the least.

"Well that's up to you really, if you want to die then keep acting the way you have I'll leave you down here forever. If you actually start listening to the things I say I can take you out of those chains, and you can go upstairs to get medical treatment. I'd say you only have about a day or two left, if you leave those wounds untreated. You know, I still do care about you, git, you just had to be punished.." England said sharply, but mumbled the last part under his breath.

America was waiting for a kick to his side or for England to bash his head in, thinking that the Brit was cruel enough to do so. He wasn't sure to talk to him in all honesty he was enraged, and a bit scared... America was scared how darkened the Brit got after he caught America. He tugged at his chains again as a way of showing the Brit that he wished to be removed from his shackles. England looked at America moving his shackles, knowing that he wanted to be removed from them. England thought for a moment, did he really want to take America out of them? He might try to fight him if he removed him from the chains, but the state that America was in would probably keep him from even walking properly for a while.

America tilted his head to look back at England, showing his soulless eyes which were a bit puffy from crying the night before. There was a cut on his forehead, and parts of his face were covered in dry blood. His face seemed emotionless, but on the inside he had a mixture of horrible feelings.

England finally made his decision after a few moments, and kneeled down beside America once more, not breaking eye contact with him. "Alright, if I take those shackles off you cannot tell anyone that I've done this to you, if anyone asks what happened you, you must tell them that it's injuries from the war, that you lost. Last of all, you can't leave the house unless I'm with you, and that's the only exception. If you disobey any of those rules once you're out, I will have to punish you again, probably worse then I already have. Do I make myself clear?" England said sternly, staring at America with no emotion on his face. He trailed his hand over to the lock for the shackles and took the key out, holding it above it, waiting for America's reply.

America didn't seem to change expressions, his eyes stayed soulless and sad and his he had a blank expression. He looked down at his hands and wrist, seeing how cut up they were. How cut up they were from England. He touched a few of his founds and cringed. He sat up against the wall, and looked up at England. All this terms and conditions seemed about right, but when England stated he punished him again it only made him more shattered on the inside. How weak, how in pain, how hateful... He bent his fingers, trying to get feeling back in them.

"...Sure whatever..." America mumbled with a croaky voice. He put his knees to his chest slowly and hugged them, still looking at England blankly.

England unlocked the chains that America was locked up in slowly, but then narrowed his eyes. He leaned forwards so he was closer to America, and slapped him across the face with the back of his hand, hard. America flinched and moaned in the sudden shock but didn't change expressions.

"I don't like your tone Alfred, or the amount of respect you're giving me. Now, say that you accept the terms I'm giving you, but say it properly and respectfully. 'Yeah sure' doesn't fit my standards. And stand up, you're acting like a pathetic weak little wounded kid all curled up like that." America. snapped angrily, grabbing America's arm and yanking him up to his feet, not caring if the sudden movement opened up some of the wounds on the other nations body again.

America groaned in pain as he was yanked onto his feet, stumbling onto himself. He could barely walk right so he stood against the wall to support his back he looked down at his wrist, black and bloody from the shackles. He breathed heavily seeming shocked and he quivered a bit from the sudden movement.

He tried to catch his breath, trying to let the pain vanish before he moved or said anything, which toke a couple minutes. His cheek was a bright red from being smacked. A bit of blood dripped out of his mouth and he spit out a tooth onto the floor. like a child if he could barely walk or stand? He was weakened! Why didn't England understand!? He toke a deep breath and looked at England. America held one of his arms like it was injured or bleeding, then again he was injured and bleeding everywhere.

"I accept..." He responded in a rusty, wheezed tone. He knew he couldn't live like that... England may have been trying to teach him a lesson, but he was only teaching America pain and suffering. That didn't help him want to stay with England at the least bit, though deep inside he cared for Arthur. He couldn't say it, for he thought England would just beat him up.

England wrinkled his nose in disgust seeing the state that America was really in, there were cuts all over him, and there was a little bit of blood trickling down his mouth. America looked horrible and disgusting, his breath wheezing and sounding terrible. England felt sort of bad for him, seeing his colony like this. His facial expression softened a little, and he nodded, hearing America accept in the way that he wanted him to.

"Okay, that's better. Thank you. Now do you want to go upstairs? I can find someone that can help you and fix you up and get all those cuts and bruises bandaged." America lightened up a bit hearing he could leave the room, but he still had that sorrowful feeling in his heart.

England turned around and started heading around the corner that would lead up the stairs to the main floor of his house, America slowly following England. England paused once he got to the bottom of the stairs, waiting for America. Was this the right thing to do? Maybe he should have left Alfred down in the basement for a little while longer but what would happen if he left him, would his colony wake up to see the next day? Probably not. America needed immediate medical care which was obvious to see, so England was going to give it to him.

America had a slow pace but he was clearly trying his best. He coughed into his hand and turned a corner to see England at the bottom of the stares. He thought England was probably is disgust by his appearance, not like America could do much about it.

"S-Sorry I'm taking so long.." America said in a soft weak tone, still shaking a bit. He went up one step, his leg bending uncomfortably as he tried to walk up the stairs. America went at a slow, weak pace having been so bruised. He still traced on of his hands on the wall to support himself, leaving a bit of blood trailing on the walls.

England sighed loudly and shook his head as he walked up the stairs behind America, watching his every move and noticing him shaking. He stopped when America was about halfway up the stairs, and stepped up beside him, putting one of Alfred's bruised and bloody arms across his neck, so he could support him and help him walk.

"That's quite alright... I can see why you're having troubles walking. You can lean some of your weight on me now, if you want.." England mumbled with no emotion in his voice before wincing slightly when he felt something dripping on his neck, obviously blood from one of America's cuts. Even though the blood and the appearance of the American disgusted him, England wasn't just going to make him suffer climbing up a set of stairs.

America wanted to kind of decline Arthur's offer so he wouldn't seem weak or needy but at the same time, he couldn't help himself. He leaned on England only a bit, feeling as if England was disgusted by him. He still hand most of his weight being supported by pushing his hand against the wall. He groaned a bit and squeezed on eye toke another step feeling at much more ease with walking, not a lot but it helped him walk better.

"...Thank you.." America mumbled blankly trying to seem a bit thankful. Though no real emotion showed through his dead eyes and dull face. He would never understand England, he thought. He would never understand his hate or sympathy.

He managed to make it up a few more steps with England's help, reaching the top with a deep sigh of relief. England bit his lip when they got to the top of the stairs, America's arm still along his neck and still dripping blood on him. He turned to the basement door and closed it, then locking it with a small key.

England turned back away from the basement and back around so he was facing the drawing room of his house, where many of his slaves were looking at him and America with strange looks on their faces but didn't question him and hurried on with their jobs. America didn't make eye contact with any of England's servants. He didn't exactly wish to be in contact with many people at the moment. He was extremely exhausted, and he felt as if his vision was going. Some servants glanced at America but he ignored them. Arthur forced a small smile on his face, so that they would think that nothing was wrong, but that was pretty difficult to do when he had a beat up bleeding person leaning on his shoulder.

"Only a little more to go, on the far side of the house there's a small hospital room for the British soldiers that get hurt in wars and such.." England mumbled, shifting America on his shoulder.

America was extremely exhausted, and he felt as if his vision was going. He slowly started to limp forward, mostly letting England guide him. He'd often stumble on himself or nearly bump into things, but stumble the other way instead. He dangled his head a bit but tried to keep his focused. He was trying really hard to keep walking but it was difficult in his condition. He'd often let out a cough and tried to conceal his pain, to show make England feel a bit rather less disgusted or pitiful. Either way he wouldn't make it to England's medical room without his support, and England couldn't just leave him there now that all the servants were watching.

As England led America to the medical room, he was glancing at him every once and a while. He noticed that his walking rhythm was obviously off, and he would often stumble every once and a while. England shifted his shoulder again so that America would have to put more of his weight on him, to make it easier for him to walk.

After walking a few minutes to the far side of the house they finally got to the medical room, and England headed over to one of the open hospital beds that wasn't occupied by a British soldier, and set America down on it. America laid back against the bed, too exhausted and sore to sit up.

England turned to one of the nurses and ordered them to take care of America's cuts and wounds. The nurse nodded, not even thinking of asking England why America was in such poor condition, and started cleaning his cuts. England made eye contact with America for a moment, "I'm going to go get on different clothing..I'll be back once I'm changed." He paused and turned to the nurse, "Make sure that he doesn't try to escape while I'm gone, if he does, yell for the guards and tell them that they can feel free to throw him back in the basement." He said sternly, before walking out of the medical room and going up to his bedroom to change.

The nurse tended to America's he was laid back, cleaning and wrapping his wounds. She questioned where they came from but America choose not to respond and stared at the ceiling with dull eyes, almost seeming lifeless. He cringed a bit as the nurse toke medicines and rubbed them into his wounds, cleaning them but making his skin sting. The nurse appeared to be taking notes on a journal as she tended to him, probably medical notes.

America thought to himself how England said they could throw him back in the basement, did England even realize how much pain he was in? He could barely walk to the nurses, so how would he escape. He breathe rapidly as his body felt sick and cold. The nurse continued to patch him up and checking him. She did a lot of work to his head, making sure he didn't have brain trauma. She seemed very stern, and America wondered what she was thinking. He just didn't have effort to say anything to the nurse. She continued to clean him up, not questioning anything.

England was soon back in the medical room after a few minutes, and sat down in a chair watching the nurse work on America, a blank look on his face. America had his eyes shut closed, breathing heavily as the nurse worked on him. He felt pain throb throughout his body, at the same time he felt relief from being tended to. He was resting, he barely slept the other night being constantly woken up by pain from open wounds. He was trying to rest a bit now, though it was difficult with the nurse moving him around.

The nurse turned to England with a sorrowful face. "He's in horrible condition, he is seriously injured and probably traumatized a bit," the nurse explained to England, flipping through her notes. She explained America's condition. He had a bit of head damage from something kicking his head or hitting something, he had lost a lot of blood and lucky to be alive and so on. America laid there silently, only being able to hear his faint, wheezy breath.

England got up from the chair he was sitting in, and stood by the hospital bed, crossing his arms and looking at America up and down. He listened to everything the nurse had to say and all the notes she had taken, but when she said America had a bit of head damage he immediately felt terrible, knowing that all those kicks he had aimed at America's head was the reason he had the condition. England bit his lip and looked at the nurse, pretending to look worried.

"Really? That's horrible..do you know what caused the head damage? Will he be alright?" He was putting on this fake act so that the nurse wouldn't get suspicious, and so that she thought that he still cared for his colonies, which he still sort of did. England didn't completely hate every single one of them, but he wouldn't admit that deep down, he still cared for them. That would make him appear weak to his enemies, and his own colonies.

The nurse continued to flip through her notes, glancing back at America a couple times. He laid there still seeming in pain, but somewhat relaxed. He started to take more steady breaths, but still sounded wheezy. The nurse didn't really know what happened but England and America did. And if it got out to anyone, they both would be in trouble and maybe even danger. The nurse turned back to England.

"Actually it appears he has two head wounds. On in the front and one in the back. The first one on the front probably from a punch or kick and the back one from my guess hitting his head on something." the nurse explained then sighed. She had a semi-sad look on her face. "As for him being alright I can't say... The brain damage may of hurt a vital nerve that could of gave him part blindness, lost of speech, or even a lost memory which could change him. But he probably will be traumatized from all his wounds... They look really bad.." she sighed, patting England on the back "I know he meant a lot to you I'm sorry," the nurse mumbled not knowing what was really going on.

England nodded and pouted, trying to make his face look as sympathetic or depressed as he possibly could, willing his eyes to water the slightest bit. He switched between glancing at America, and then the nurse.

"Yeah, he does mean a lot to me.." He said sadly and reached one of his arms down, taking one of America's hands, the hand closest to him, and squeezing it for emphasis on his words. America seemed to squeeze England's hand back a bit then stopped. It seemed such a strange gesture, for he wasn't very warming to England at the moment it was like he still wanted England there.

England looked right down at America when he started to squeeze his hand back, surprised. Why was he holding his hand back, let alone squeeze it..? He expected America to move his hand away when he had grabbed it. He continued to stare at his injured colony for a few moments, completely forgetting that the nurse was there. Maybe America was trying to show him that he didn't want him to leave, but wanted him to stay instead. England had his doubts though, that wouldn't make any sense..wasn't he the one that caused America all this pain? Snapping out of his thoughts, he turned back to the nurse.

"That's to bad though, the war really beat him up..so he will be traumatized for a while, but you aren't sure he will have brain damage or anything..? It's just a slight possibility?" England questioned before tapping his foot a bit on the floor, but it wasn't noticeable enough for the nurse to see.

England was annoyed that this was taking such an incredible amount of time, he was a busy nation and needed to go finish up some papers. He didn't have time to stand around watching his colony lay in a hospital bed, while being fixed up by a nurse. Then again, he was relived that America was getting the medical attention he needed, and England did want to make sure that he was going to be alright.

The nurse raised her eyebrow at such a strange response, but continued to give England his answers. "It's hard to say, I can't tell what will be wrong or not wrong with him till he recovers more and wakes up. We can't rush him or the treatment or he will get a medical problem or disability. We can't let that happen to him.." she told England with a serious tone. She felt as if something was off but didn't question it. "It's best if he is treated and has support-" she said support with a stern tone, knowing England was a busy man but couldn't he take a few hours out of his day to help the one he cared for?

"So you're saying that you want me to stay with America while he's being treated? I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that..I've been really busy lately," England said.

"Whatever works for you sir, if you are busy you don't have to stay. I just assumed you were the first thing Alfred wanted to see when, or if he wakes up," she explained in a sad tone. Saying if he wakes up must of been unnerving for her let alone England. America let his hand loose of England, slowly sliding it out of his hand like he was weak. When she said that he might not wake up England bit his lip, a guilty feeling hitting him.

As America let go of England's hand he moved his arm back to his side, frowning. "Well. You are right but I don't think he would want to see my face though.." He mumbled under his breath before talking in his usual pitch again, "I suppose I can stay with him for a little while. I'm not all that busy."

The nurse noticed when America started to slip his hand out of England's and quickly went to check on America. She put her ear against his chest.

"His heart beat is faint... Shit," she mumbled . She pushed her hands on America 's chest trying to let him breathe. She tilted his head properly and opened his mouth slightly to give him some air. She listened to his heart again.

England glanced at America worriedly watching the nurse try to make America breathe easier again, England looked right at the nurse. "Is he going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help? I have some medical training-if you need any assistance, that is.."

She continued to try to give him a steady breathing pace and glanced at England as she pumped on his chest. "Like I said, it's hard to tell in his condition. I am not completely sure but I was afraid if he had taken another harsh hit from whatever was hurting him he would die for sure. I think he is trying to fight on but is struggling-" she gave her honest and professional word in it.

England felt even guiltier, but he was relived that he hadn't chosen to give America that last kick to the head, if he did, America would surely be dead by now. He held his hands behind his back feeling completely useless, not being able to help the nurse.

"It be nice if you could help but there is not a lot you can do at the moment... His wounds are wrapped and such but it depends on his condition if he can hang on.." she mumbled, pushing the hair out of her face.

"Okay... I'll just stand here then.." He looked at America's chest, it was just barely rising and falling. He sighed sadly and looked to America's blank expression and closed eyes, he almost looked dead. England just wished that he would open his eyes. He missed seeing America's happy bright blue eyes which he hadn't been able to look at lately because of the war.

England crouched down slightly so he was at the same height of the hospital bed that America was in, "Come on Alfred. You've been through so much. You can get through this.." He urged him quietly.

America gave faint breaths, breathing rapidly. The nurse put a cold towel on his head just in case he got a cold from being over exposed.

"Urg... He's breathing more now but not at the right pace, he may be getting a cold from some sort of over exposer..." she mumbled, wiping the sweat off her face with her hand. America cringed a bit and groaned, making the nurse's head tilt up.

England stayed crouching beside America's hospital bed, and looked sad for a moment, he wasn't faking it this time. A sudden thought came to him though, why was he suddenly caring for America so much? America was just another stupid colony that helped England grow and become stronger, so he thought. But then why was he wishing that his 'stupid' colony would wake up and become better..? England frowned, there was a lot going on. He just came to the assumption that he was wishing for America to get better so that he would still have the colony under his control. Without him, England wouldn't be that powerful anyways.

"He's semi-awake, but still in pain. I think he may survive but there is no saying what will happen when he wakes up.." the nurse told England, watching America shiver a bit in pain and agony.

England grimaced and stood up, reaching for America's hand again with one if his arms, while feeling his forehead with the other. America's head felt like it was burning up, but he continuing to urge him on quietly. "Please America, just wake up once you wake up you can tell us what hurts or what's wrong then go back to sleep and relax.."

America was trying. He really was. America was trying so hard to awake, but his mind and body wouldn't let him making him agitated on the inside. But was it a smart thing to do? To wake up? Would England pity him or find him weak? What would be the outcome of him waking up or not?

In all honesty America was scared.


	3. Chapter 3: The Troubled

America huffed as his temperature rised. Only with his luck could America start to get sick. America didn't squeeze England's hand back this time but let him hold it. England continued to hold America's hand, still worried for him.

"En...G-Gland..." America gasped out trying to talk, but he was too weak. When America said England's name England just shook his head and frowned, not being able to understand anything America was trying to say except for his own name. The nurse looked at America in surprise.

"He is waking up a bit..." She said but wasn't certain. She glanced at England but didn't say anything. She hadn't heard what a England had been saying but she could hear what America tried to say. "Did you hear what he said? I couldn't quite make it out..." she asked looking at England.

"Yes I heard a little bit of what he said but he was just saying my name, that's all..." England's frown deepened, thinking for a moment. He had just been asking America what was wrong and the nation had responded with his name... Was America trying to say that he was the problem? Or maybe he was just saying his name because he was there holding America's hand. England cursed in his mind, hopefully it wasn't that he was saying that he was the problem.

The nurse went to damp a towel then removed England's hand off America's head to place the cold towel on his head. America looked a bit more relived now but still was huffing for air and trying to calm himself.

She sighed and looked through the cabinets for medicine. America's eye twitched as if he was trying to open his eyes. He kept panting lightly, feeling his body sicken.

"I-It... H-Hurts..."he managed to groan out before gasping for air. He whimpered and squeezed England's hand tightly. He was semi conscious now, and the nurse toke more notes. She sighed sadly. She put the note book down.

"He will wake up soon enough but he needs rest. When he wakes up give him this medicine." She put the medicine next to her notebook and walked out going to tend to other patients. She had her own ideas on why America was so wounded. America became more silent, just panted at his own pace.

England nodded to show that he understood the nurses instructions, and when she left the room he let go of America's hand for a moment and went to go grab a chair, knowing that he was going to have to stay in the room for a while. He put the chair right beside America's bed and took his hand back into his own and watched him wither in pain and trying to wake up.

England now hated himself, everything that he had done to America, he hadn't deserved it. He wished that there was some way that he could have re-done his actions but that would be impossible. When America called him by his nickname he ignored his hate for it, he was probably just to tired to pronounce his whole name. England moved his other hand back up to America's forehead, brushing some of his hair out of the way and moving the damp cloth up a bit.

"Shush, don't use all your energy talking, I know it hurts just take your time waking up, and once you do I can give you some medicine, then you can go back to sleep just take your time." England said softly, trying to comfort America.

America didn't give any type of response, just panted lightly trying to relax himself. America had a hard time relaxing. So many thoughts were going through his head he couldn't make up his mind.

* * *

After awhile, seemingly hours, America slowly blinked his eyes open. His vision was so blurry he couldn't make out anything but England's face. He slightly turned his head to England and blinked confusingly. England had been leaning his other arm on the hospital bed with his chin resting on the palm of his hand, starting to doze off because America wasn't doing anything, just laying there.

"Eng...Land?..." America asked in a soft weak tone. His face looked so sad and helpless. His eyes almost looked duller than usual.

England saw America open up his eyes slowly he took his arm off the hospital bed and sat back up to look at him, his eyes wide. He nodded when America said his name, silently thanking that he still remembered who he was, and that he didn't have brain damage.

"Yes, America it's me.." England bit his lip nervously thinking of what to say next, "I-I'm just really sorry for what I did to you.." He looked away guiltily not wanting to see America looking so helpless and sad. It made England feel horrible to know that he was the reason America was in this state.

America blinked confusingly then looked up at the ceiling silently not really responding. His eyes were dull and soulless, and something seemed off. America seemed out of focus. He didn't really say anything for a bit thinking on how to respond.

"...Am I going to die?" He asked plainly with no emotion in his weak soft voice. He barely moved to, uncertain what to do. Everything hurt so much and something was wrong he just didn't want to speak to the Brit.

England thought about it for a moment. He couldn't really answer what America asked, it wasn't definite that America was going to live, but he didn't know if he was going to die either. The only way they could tell is by how America was feeling.

"No... I don't think you are...are you feeling okay? Because if you're feeling okay, then you should be alright.." England then remembered the medicine the nurse told him to give America when he woke up. America sighed, hearing England wasn't certain.

"I feel sore and horrible..." America mumbled, his voice was soft and croaky. He still stared up at the ceiling, blinking a bit more. He didn't know either if he was ok or not, it just hurt everywhere. He tried to steady his breath more, trying to relax himself better.

"Oh, right the nurse told me to give you some medicine when you woke up. I'm not sure what it does but it's probably going to make you feel better" He opened the bottle of medicine and took a pill out of it, holding it out to America.

America watched as England waved the pill in his face, and took it from his hand using his mouth, hoping it wasn't poisoned or anything. America swallowed it whole with a large gulp and let out a large sigh, not moving his eyes from its position from the ceiling. He felt hurt everywhere. It felt like his stomach was being sucked into his body and his bones all felt broken and shattered. He bent his fingers a bit trying to feel them and cringed but kept bending them to get feeling back, doing the same to his toes.

"My bones feel broken and I feel sore," he merely said but there was obviously more wrong.

England wasn't surprised that America was feeling sore, after all those blows to his head and stomach that he had did, it would be surprising to hear if someone didn't feel sore after withstanding that.

"Well that's pretty normal I suppose. The nurse said that you'll probably feel bad for a few days..." England told America.

England noticed how rough America's voice sounded, so he stood up from the chair he was in and walked to a sink in the room taking a paper cup from a stack that was above the sink and filling it up with water. He turned around and walked back beside America's bed, taking a seat on the chair again.

"Do you want some water? Your voice sounds pretty scratchy and its probably a good idea to drink something after taking that pill." He held out the cup to America, looking sort of annoyed having to take care of his colony like this. It annoyed England just the slightest though, on the outside it probably looked like he didn't want to be there, but on the inside he wanted to stay with America so that he could make sure that he was getting better.

America kept his eyes stared at the ceiling, not looking at England's face. Not like he had the nerves anymore. He wondered if he should speak up or say something. He was half frightened to. He was afraid either England would pity him or look down on him or if England would hate himself. He didn't want that, but he didn't want England to act like some tyrant either.

"I could take some water..." America said but stayed in his position, not really trying to grab at the cup. He didn't even look at it really. He just kept staring.

England tilted his head slightly to the side still holding the cup out to him, "Er, Alfred, I've just been wondering..do you want me to stay here with you? I'm sort of busy, but if you want me to I can stay here... I don't really mind.."

"Stay or not. Your choice..." America said. "Not like I have a say in anything at the moment..."he uttered making sure England couldn't hear him. He wanted to keep quiet at the moment.

When America murmured that it was his choice for him to stay or not, England thought about it for a moment. One part of him was saying that he should leave America be and go along with his life, but another part of him was saying that he should stay and help America. If he left, America probably wouldn't warm up to him at all. If he stayed though, America might just stay at a neutral state and not hate him, but not really look up to him.

England huffed quietly, somewhat annoyed that America wouldn't look at him, or take the cup of water from him. England leaned over anyways though and held the cup under America's bottom lip, so that he wouldn't need to take it with his hands. America sipped the water, chugging it down quickly. He knew it was childish and troublesome but he couldn't really feel the nerves in his arms because he was so tired. He drank the water done quickly.

When would the nurse come back? He didn't exactly like acting like a caretaker for his colony's, much less have to help them drink stuff, in his mind he thought it made him seem like a pushover if he actually showed that he cared for them.

"Thank you..." America mumbled once he finished his drink. England put the empty cup to the side.

England decided leaving him alone in the room without anyone to watch him probably wasn't a good idea, and the nurse did recommend for him to stay with the other nation.

"Okay, I'll stay with you for a while then.." England mumbled quietly.

When America heard England say he would stay, he smiled weakly for a second then it disappeared back to his plain, sad face. America thought it was nice of England to stay but he got the feeling England didn't want to stay. America didn't want to be left alone with some random nurse yet he didn't want to be so troublesome. He was suppose to be strong, but he felt so weak.

"...I'm sorry," America mumbled still staring at the ceiling, his lip quivering.

A questioned look appeared on England's face when America apologized to him, not really knowing why he was actually apologizing.

"Why are you apologizing? Because you couldn't hold the cup? If that's the case then its fine... I don't mind.." England wasn't lying, he didn't really mind helping America. He just wanted him to get better.

England noticed that America's bottom lip was quivering and he opened his mouth to apologize himself to him and to say that everything was going to be alright, but the nurse walked back into the room.

"I'm going to run some test on Alfred if you don't mind so please step out." she said sternly, pulling out the curtain to separate Alfred from the rest of the room.

England frowned, the way she had told him to leave was rather rude. England thought that he deserved more respect, he had the right to stay with America, didn't he? He had an urge to smack her, but she was one of his people from his country so he gritted his teeth and stood up, ignoring the urge. England just nodded and walked out of the room not saying anything, sitting out in the hallway waiting for her to allow him to come back into the room.

* * *

They stayed in the room for awhile. America only thought about England, not really paying attention to the annoying nurse. She ran all sorts of test, making him bend muscles as he cringed in pain. She toke blood samples and patched him up a bit more in areas she couldn't reach while he was unconscious.

America stayed silent as the nurse ran test and toke notes in her notebook, only sighing to her and grunting to her as responses. He just wanted to some how patch the gap between him and England. The nurse eventually left and went to England, still taking notes then looking up at him.

"Sorry I need to take a few quick important test... You can go back in..." she said before waltzing off, dropping her medical journal but didn't notice and kept walking off. England wasn't really listening to what she was saying, he just nodded his head absentmindedly.

When she walked away and dropped her medical journal on the ground England walked over to where it was lying on the floor and picked it up, not bothering to yell at her to come and get it. England just tucked it under his arm and walked back into the room America was in, and put the journal on the bedside table, sitting back down in the chair he had pulled up beside the bed.

America heard England walk back in and heard him set down next to him. He gave a sad face, his face and eyes gave this sorrowful expression that couldn't be ignored. America didn't want to look so sad to England, the expression just showed. America had new bandages wrapped around him, covering various locations. There was one now around America's forehead, slightly hidden by his bangs.

England sat in silence with America for a moment, not really knowing what to say to him. He could try to start a conversation..but America probably wouldn't say much. Maybe he could try to apologize again. America probably wouldn't even care though, he had already done it once and the other nation hadn't even given him much of a response. England just turned slightly in the chair so he was facing America, and cleared his throat awkwardly.

"So..is there anything you need Alfred? Like another drink of water, or something to eat?"

"...No I don't need anything..." America mumbled, turning his head a bit towards England, showing his still dull, stone eyes but they looked more depressing then before.

America yawned, still a bit tired. He didn't want to seem a bother to England, so he tried to rest himself a bit more, but he just seemed to be resting his eyes, not really sleeping. He seemed distressed.

England noticed America's yawn and looked at a watch on his wrist, it was almost close to when he would normally have dinner, he had missed lunch from staying in the hospital room for so long. He sighed and leaned back on the chair he was sitting on, stretching his legs out.

England just studied America for a moment, looking at all the bandages the nurse put on him from the recent examination. He wondered what they were for, probably just broken bones, cuts, or something like that. His eyes trailed off of America and to the bedside table, where the nurses notebook was laying flat on.

America seemed to have dozed off a bit, having a relaxed breath and calm look. He seemed a bit peaceful, or better then he did before. England could probably figure out what was really wrong with America with the information in there but he didn't really want to sneak and look, if the nurse came back she might get angry at him. He stared at it for a few more moments though and his curiosity won out, he had done things like this before, and the nurse couldn't really do anything to harm him anyways. England grabbed the notebook off of the bedside table and opened it, beginning to read it.

The light tanned paper read something interesting, maybe even far from relaxing:

_July 6th, Notes of Patient: Jones, Alfred F._  
_Hearing test: Pass. No trauma to ears. Severe head trauma, cracked skull, healed with rest and non stress. Fixture: Bandage wrapped around head to keep him from fiddling with the cuts and bruises and from futher injury. Cause of skull fraction: Two blows. Right side of skull, back. Back from hitting head too hard against a hard surface. Right side from possibly a kick or hit to the head. Hard to tell, deadly to the brain. Wrapped and cleaned multiply cuts on back and side, patient still unwilling to speak. Sore body, hard time moving. 3 broken ribs. Major blood loss, had to give more blood and take a blood test. Can talk, just chooses not to. Patient seems in mental shock and trauma, probably frightened and suffering from whatever he went through. War? England? Unknown. Other test: Refuses to talk during the eye test. Diagnosis: Blindness possibly? Or stubbornness not wanting to speak up. Shall look into that later when he speaks up. Seems to change a bit around Kirkland, can't tell if it's from relief or fright. Look into it..._

The notes stopped there. A lot went on but this book must of been her own notes, not protocol notes.

England scanned the notebook, reading everything that was written on the page carefully and slowly, making sure not to miss anything. Good, America didn't have any hearing damage, but that was rather obvious seeing that he could reply to things that he and the nurse had asked him. America did have head damage though, but England found that easy to tell as well, he had kicked America's head quite hard.

England read the other parts about him having a hard time moving, his broken ribs, and his blood testing. It was all basic stuff, England was sort of expecting stuff like this, so it wasn't really much of a surprise. He narrowed his eyes at the part when the nurse had written down the causes of America's injuries though, seeing his name. Hopefully she was more convinced that a war had done the damage, and not him. He continued to read on and eventually got to the eye test part, and he stopped for a moment. He read it over a few times and his eyes widened a bit.

The nurse had written down the diagnosis as blindness but how? England thought back to when he was helping America down the hallway, he was stumbling quite a bit but that was just from his weak muscles and bones, wasn't it? England looked at America who was sleeping, he didn't look as agitated as he was before. But before he had shut his eyes he had the worst look in them, they were dull and just didn't look right.

England put that thought off in his mind quickly, he could always ask America about it later. England read on to the last few lines, not really surprised when it said that America changed around him, the nurse had put that it was either because of relief or fright, but he was almost sure that it was just because of fear.

Once England got to the bottom of the page he closed the book and put it back on the table, looking back at America. He looked so peaceful and relaxed, so England didn't bother to wake him up and ask him about the eye test. He could ask him later, when he woke up.

England wasn't even sure if he would respond to his questions though, so it was almost pointless...


	4. Chapter 4: The Blind One

the back of his chair sleeping, he had gotten up after a while of sitting in the room growing incredibly bored, and went to go have his dinner. After he was finished he went back to the hospital room to stay with America to make sure that nothing happened to him, but had fallen asleep, it had grown late at night pretty quickly. England was only in a light sleep though, aware to the things around him.

America's eyes slowly flickered open, and the room was only lite up by two or three candles because it was late at night at the time. He glanced around confused, then sat up in his bed, rubbing his head, groaning. The American cringed a bit. He didn't know how many hours had past and what was going on outside his little imprisonment, or something else he called it. America wondered if England changed how he felt in anyway or somewhat. He didn't know at the moment, way too many thoughts in his head.

."En...England?" America called out hoping for a warming response.

Once England heard his name his eyes shot open and he sat up quickly, looking around the room before he turned to look at the bed and his gaze fell on America, slightly surprised because he was sitting up and not just lying in the bed like he was before. England blinked a few times, getting used to the lighting in the room.

"Huh...what is it Alfred? Its rather late you know, everyone in this house is probably asleep. You should go back to sleep as well, unless you need something?" England murmured drowsily, trying not to keep his voice quiet so he wouldn't wake anyone else.

America laid back down, laying on his side. America thought it was really late so he didn't want to bother England to, seeing England was probably exhausted.

"Oh... Um... I'm fine.." America mumbled but his stomach grumbled loudly and he blushed awkwardly not wanting to be disruptive to England. England smiled a bit and chuckled quietly, hearing America's stomach growl. "Oh... Sorry.."

"You're fine now are you? It doesn't sound like that to me..it sounds like you're hungry. Do you want something to eat? I can get you something from the kitchen if you want." America nodded.

"Sure... I guess I could eat like a sandwich.." America said. England was still a bad and bland cook, but he could make an ok sandwich since there was no cooking involved. America didn't like to be so specific, but he didn't want to die because England over did his scones. He wouldn't mind right? America rubbed his eyes again, blinking a few times then groaned.

England stood up and stretched, a little bit sore from sitting on the uncomfortable chair. He wished that he could go to his own bed to sleep, but he also wanted to stay with America.

"Alright, I'm going to be right back then." England walked out of the room and headed quietly down the hallway to where the kitchen was, hopefully it was empty and there was nobody in there, or they might wonder what the hell he was doing. When England got in the kitchen he started looking in cupboards, he wasn't exactly sure where everything was because he didn't cook very often.

England soon found bread, lettuce, cheese and some meat and made the sandwich quickly though, it wasn't that difficult. He looked at it for a moment once he had put it together, realizing that it didn't look that good. England bit his lip slightly, America probably wouldn't care. He took a plate and put the sandwich and a napkin on it, leaving the mess of the ingredients in the kitchen. Someone else could clean it up.

He headed back to the hospital room with the sandwich, and walked through the door. He sat back down in the chair and put the plate on America's lap.

There you go... Sorry if it's not that good.." England mumbled.

America looked down at his lap for awhile, with a confused face and a nervous one. He slowly moved his hands towards the plate, feeling the brim of the plate and sighing in relief, then slowly taking the sandwich and picked it up. America sighed with relief. America sniffed it for reasons he didn't want to mention to hurt England's feelings.

America took a small bite of it once, and slowly chewed on it and swallowed. He blinked a few times before taking more bites, and eating the sandwich. He finished it in a matter or about 10 minutes or so, and toke only small bites for some reason.

America gave a soft smile. "Thanks... I liked it.." He mumbled.

England beamed when America said that he liked the sandwich, he had tried his best to make it taste good. America turned over and accidentally made the plate roll off him, forgetting it was there. It crashed to the floor but not so loudly, but America strangely looked the other direction of where the plate crashed.

England's smile was immediately gone though when America dropped the plate, he had looked the opposite way that it had fallen..strange. England remembered back to the nurses notes in her medical record book, it did say America might have possibly been blind, now England was beginning to think that she was right.

England grabbed the plate off of the floor because it had fallen on the side that was sitting on, and he stared right at America looking concerned.

"Hey America, tell me how many fingers I'm holding up, alright?" England stood up and walked a little ways from the bed, before holding up three fingers. Anyone with good eyesight would be able to tell that it was three.

America blinked blankly, staring at England for awhile. He didn't speak. His expression quickly changed to a more dead, sorrowful look. America was worried. If he told the truth would England cry? Would he be mad and call him a weakling? Would he even just up and leave him?...

"I'm sorry England... I can no longer see.." America said plainly, no emotion in his voice, maybe only a tint of sadness. He still stare straight at England knowing the pain he would cause, rather for himself or England.

England kept a straight face as he put his hand down, so the nurse was right, America was blind. He didn't say anything, just walked back over to the chair beside the bed. England could feel the tears behind his eyes but he willed them not to fall, there was no way he was going to cry in front of one of his colonies. England avoided eye contact with America for a moment but eventually looked at him, a sad look on his face. He cleared his throat but looked away again, worried that his eyes were looking incredibly watery.

"Right... I sort of realized that and you shouldn't be the one apologizing, I should. I am sorry..." England tried to keep his tone level and moved his head so he was staring at the floor, feeling a tear rolling down his cheek. He wiped it off but felt another one dripping down his face, it would be fine though as long as he kept quiet, because America wasn't able to see him, he could only hear him.

"It's alright I've learned my lesson..." America said dully, almost like a backslash to England.

England only nodded when America said he learned his lesson, at least he had punished him well enough, America wasn't going to try to leave him again. But the reason America was now blind was because of the punishment England had given him but he couldn't think straight right now, to much was happening. He scrubbed at his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket for a moment before standing up, making sure that it didn't look like he was crying incase if anyone saw him, but it only left them redder. England sniffed and sighed loudly, just wanting to go back to his bedroom so he could rest properly and get used to the events that just happened.

"I'm going to go back to my bedroom to sleep.. I'll see you back in the morning I guess.." England's voice wavered from crying a bit, and he walked quickly out of the room, not bothering to tell America why he was going back to his own bedroom.

America only nodded a bit, leaning back onto his bed and curled up a bit, cringing from moving hurt muscles. He blinked again, wishing to see.

America closed his eyes, unconscious letting a single tear fall from his eye before he slept. It was a deep sleep. Unnerving. Silent. It was sleep. But it was the type of sleep where you dreamt about what was to come next because someone's afraid. America was afraid. He was afraid of what was to come next. He hoped England slept well and was ok to. But then America thought something: Was it really worth it to stay a colony forever? He truly cared for England but what if he snapped again... Or didn't care in the first place... He cringed in his sleep wanting to apologize over and over again. He was a silent sleeper. He awaited morning to find out what was to come to him.

England had gone straight up to his bedroom and went right to his bed, getting in it and having a pretty good sleep. It was better then sleeping in that chair, at least. He had tried to block out the fact that America was blind in order for him to actually fall asleep, if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to actually sleep. The guilt of making America blind would be eating him out the entire night.

* * *

Sun soon shone through his window though, and he blinked a few times to focus. He sat up in his bed and yawned, stretching a bit.

England would have to go downstairs to eat breakfast, then go back to see America. He slowly got out of bed and got dressed, then headed downstairs. Once he got to the dining room some of his servants offered him an array of foods, but he just took an apple from one of the trays and shrugged off the rest of them, walking down the hallway to the medical room without saying anything to them.

The door to the room was closed, but England opened it quietly and walked in. He sat down on the foot of America's hospital bed, taking a bite of the apple and looking at him.

America looked so peaceful, so calm as he slept. You could barely hear him. He was so quiet, expect this small whistling noise he made when he breathe but that was normal for any person. He was curled up in blankets, seeming relaxed. There was a empty tray on the side table, insisting America had already eaten something. Probably the nurse feed him something.

America's hair was wild and he was changed into a white laced shirt with a red ribbon on the collar... Almost like the gown America wore when he was little but as a shirt. He wasn't that before maybe he changed earlier.

The nurse walked in with a book and papers on top of it. She glanced at America and England then went to get her journal she had 'left'. She went over to England and looked at him.

"How is he?" She asked

England ignored the nurses question for a moment and took another bite of the apple, looking at America. America was wearing the same sort of clothing that he used to wear when he was little, which began to make England depressed again.

America was such well behaved when he was smaller, England barely had to punish him, he would basically do anything he said. Once he wanted to separate and become independent though, things got worse, and now America had to take the consequences and was now blind. England sighed softly, he would have to find time to tell the nurse that her theory was correct, but he would have to do it in a way so she didn't know that he was reading her journal without her permission.

England moved to sit back down in the chair beside the hospital bed, putting the apple in a garbage bin near it. He turned to the nurse.

"I think he's doing well, getting better, at least..." England didn't mention America's blindness yet, and shifted back so he was facing the other nation. England lifted a hand up, and began trying to fix America's messy hair without waking him up.

"I hope you didn't mind. He woke up really early and he asked for something to eat so I got him some oatmeal nothing too fancy. I also helped him change and I couldn't really find anything so I gave him that..." She explained just listing off basic nurse duties.

America didn't really react too much to England moving his hair, but at first gave a shrug to it then didn't react after. The nurse looked down at him, eyeing America carefully then looked back at England, and crossed her arms.

"Mr. England... Had America said anything about him being blind to you while I went off? He refused to tell me anything during the eye test..." She asked him sternly, almost making it sound like she knew he knew something about America's eyes.

She was pretty sure England knew something. He had such a strange look on his face sometimes. America groaned a bit at the sound of their voices, disturbing his sleep a bit. England stopped trying to fix America's hair and nodded.

"Yes.. He did.. I held up a few fingers and asked him how many there were, and he told me that he couldn't see." England said blankly, biting his lip and playing with the cuffs of his sleeves. "I'm not really sure how it's possible for him to be blind, though.."

"Well... The hit he got at the side and back of his head caused nerves to shut down and probably the power and part of his brain to help him see got damaged. I am not sure if it will heal or not, but if the damage heals he may get his sight back," she told him with slight uncertainty. America yawned and tossed over on his back, making the blanket fall off and him curling up a bit for warmth.

England nodded as the nurse explained how America became blind, if only he hadn't kicked America's head. Then he would still be able to see. At least the damage could possibly heal, but England was pretty doubtful that it wouldn't.

In the past he had known some of his soldiers that became blind from head injuries, and they were blind for the rest of their lives. There was no way around it. He knew that blindness was one of those things that couldn't be healed using medicine or care, America's body would have to do the work by itself.

England noticed something was on the nurse's mind and bothering her, he knew it. It wasn't that hard to tell. He looked up at her, "You're bothered by something, what is it? Whatever it is, tell me please." England's tone was firm and his question was sort of an order, but that was the only way to ask it, or the nurse probably wouldn't give him an answer.

"He just... It's probably nothing or just how what he said seemed off or something... It seemed..." She seemed to get lost in thought between words, trying to find a way to explain it but couldn't. England thought hard because she didn't want to sound overly worried on something that could of had no relevance to the situation. She rubbed her chin in thought. She had to give some sort of answer now then she started to blabber. She kept a straight plain face.

"It seemed what? Please, tell me whatever's on your mind about America, I want to know.." He questioned softly, looking concerned, trying to help her along to explain what was bothering her.

The nurse looked at England, knowing she'd have to tell her 'boss' everything and anything to him anyway. She just didn't want to make a big deal out of nothing.

"Well... When he woke up and I checked him he changed as you know but... He picked out the shirt but I couldn't help but notice it looked so much like the gown when he was little... Well he couldn't see it but I described it to him and he asked and I quote 'Does it look like my gown when I was little?' Which kind of puzzled and shocked me a bit..." She explained, rubbing her chin, thinking hard to herself and paced around as she explained it. She stopped pacing and opened her notebook up to write a few notes then read off it a bit.

"I may be over thinking it or it could just be nothing but I had patients who were hurt badly done this before... Because he was sacred in someway he may be thinking backwards... It's hard to explain... Like when a child has a teddy bear.. They cling to that teddy bear because they feel safe around it. So like with his shirt he could be clinging onto his past when he was a child because he felt comforted by it but I am not sure... Again I don't have enough evidence anyway so it is probably nothing," she said closing her journal and placing it down. She grabbed the empty tray and started to walk out before stopping at the door way and turned back to face England and sighed.


	5. Chapter 5: The Paranoid

The nurse had said that the condition usually happened to people that were mentally scared by a single person, but she didn't know that England was the one that beat America up so badly, only he and America knew. England didn't tell her anything though, he wasn't even planning on telling anyone what had happened.

So America was probably suffering from this condition that made him think backwards, which made sense. England knew that his past wasn't that bad. It was only around this time that was filled with pain and torture. When she said that Alfred was brave England just shrugged a little, he knew that America's bravery was probably crushed from what he did to him. When she walked to the doorway of the room she suggested that something had got to America he looked away guiltily, and hopefully she didn't notice. After she left England turned to look at America sleeping, wondering when he would wake up.

America stayed silent, he seemed to sleep through everything they were saying. Luckily to because he'd probably freak out if he heard his conditions from the nurse and her theories. America wasn't taking everything so well at the moment which is why he stayed quiet. He didn't want to stress or worry everyone more.

The room suddenly gave vibe that could make someone feel uncomfortable. America whimpered a bit and tossed over violently. America a few moments after that he tossed over again and clung to his blanket like it was a life line or it was the only thing left he could cling to.

England watched America squirm and toss over in the hospital bed, something that he was dreaming about was really bothering him. He suddenly sat up with a gasp and he yelled.

"England!". He seemed to be in a faze and stared at the wall silently. England's eyes widened at America's sudden scream. England wondered if he should leave...

There was a single tear that fell put of his eyes and he panted slightly, being scared from something. He put his legs to his chest and hide his face in his knees, unaware England was there because he didn't hear or see England.

America trembled a bit, and his teeth chattered as well. "I-I am s-sorry... I am s-sorry..." He kept repeating in an unsteady, nervous voice, rocking back and forth a bit.

America didn't know he was there, so England could leave if he felt like it which he sort of wanted to do, he didn't like seeing America crying. Although deep down, he really just wanted to reassure America and tell him that he was right beside him and that everything would be okay, and that it was just a nightmare. Did he really want to do that though? Maybe it would just startle and scare him more. England sighed quietly and made his decision, holding out his arm for a moment, near America's shoulder before placing his hand on him.

England shook America's shoulder gently, trying to show him that he was there. America jolted at England's touch. "Its alright America, I'm here... Please just calm down..." He kept his tone soft, hopefully this was comforting him. America calmed down at hearing England and stopped shaking.

America steadied his staggered breathing and blinked a few times before wiping his eyes to clear some unneeded tears that wouldn't fall. He blinked a few times.

"En-England?..."He asked then stared at England, trying to comprehend what happened. He after looked away from England shamefully, facing the opposite direction.

England pulled his arm back and nodded his head even though America wouldn't be able to see him. "Yes America, I'm here..its okay.." England murmured, still surprised and sort of confused by what just happened. Whatever America must have been dreaming about was probably dreadful.

"...I'm sorry I must be troubling you," America stated thinking he was bothering England and agitating him. He laid his head in his knees with a longing depressed look on his face. England frowned slightly.

"No, you're not troubling me, its fine I don't mind you couldn't help it." England had the sudden urge to ask America what had caused him to react like that, but he kept quiet for a moment, he could always ask him later on. He shifted in the chair so he was facing America and shook his shoulder softly again, trying to get him to look up at him and take his head out of his knees.

America lifted his head up and leaned against the bed frame. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He still had a sorrowful look in his eye and he played with the red ribbon on this shirt collar. He was glad England wasn't upset. He didn't was to upset Arthur, in fact he was scared to a bit, still recalling recent events.

"Really Alfred its fine it couldn't be helped.." England thought about asking him about what was in his nightmare once more and cleared his throat, America probably wouldn't mind if he just asked. "But if you don't mind be asking, what was bothering you so much?"

"N-Nothing... It was just a nightmare... It was nothing..." He mumbled, his voice sounding somewhat shaky and stuttered. He didn't seem to want to reply fully to England.

England tilted his head a little bit at America, giving him a strange look. He really wanted to know what America's nightmare was about, maybe he could threaten him into telling him. That could always work, all he would need to do is kick or slap him a few times. England smiled to himself, America wouldn't even know what hit him, he was blind, weak, injured, and pathetic.

England stopped thinking for a moment, why the hell was he all of a sudden wanting to solve things like this? Hurting America wouldn't do him any good, and even if he did hurt him, America might not even tell him what was in the nightmare. England was used to getting his way by forcing people and abusing them though so he wasn't exactly sure how else to get the other nation to tell him. Maybe he didn't need to know. If America didn't want to tell him, maybe it should just stay that way. All England did was sigh deeply and leaned back in the chair as he listened to America stutter.

"Well if it was just a nightmare then I guess you're okay now..? Or do you want something to drink so you can calm down, maybe tea would help.." England trailed off.

."I... I just hoped my nightmare would never come true... It was so real England, it was so scary..." America mumbled looking at England with his dead, yet sad eyes.

"It was me and you... And you-" America stopped talking when he heard someone walk in, which was the nurse. She had another journal with her, now labeled completely for America. She transferred her notes on America in that journal. She looked at them curiously, blinking confusingly.

"Um... I'm going to need to run more test with America... Just some quick ones..." She told them, feeling bad for interrupting but it was part of her job to make sure America was alright. "Don't worry they are quick just need to take some notes..."

"For fucks sake.." England grumbled under his breath when the nurse told him that she was going to have to run more tests. That meant that he was going to leave the room again, so he would have to wait to listen to the remainder of America's nightmare when she was done running the tests. England sighed and stood up, walking to the doorway of the room.

"Right, that's fine..come get me when you're done then.." England turned and walked out of the room, sitting back down in the hallway, waiting.

The nurse closed the door behind her, leaving England to wait until all of her test were done. She was correct they were fast, it only took her about 25 minutes to complete whatever the hell she was up to.

America didn't make any noises that England could hear suggesting he was in need of something or was in trouble so that was settling. America was still scared though, but was loosing a sense of expressing himself through emotions. From the outside wear England was, he couldn't hear or see anything until the nurse came out. The nurse opened the door.

"Done at the moment," is what all she said was before walking out, bare handed. She didn't explain anything to England, just left the door open for England to walk in, America was silently laid in his bed, just kind of staring at the ceiling. The nurse's medical journals were left on the side table, along with some rolls of bandages suggesting she replaced his old bandages.

"Okay...Thank you.." England murmured.

England went back into the hospital room, and sat down in the chair again beside America's bed. He looked at him, then to the side table where the nurse had left her books. He could look at them later to see if she had written anything else down about America, all he really wanted to hear was what happened in America's dream. He glanced back at him and cleared his throat, letting him know that he was back in the room.

"I'm back Alfred..so..before we were so rudely interrupted, what were you saying happened in your nightmare again? You were saying something about me and you.."

America had to explain it delicately, and with precaution.

"Well... It was you and me and..." America thought to himself for a minute or two before countining. Something was off, for America and maybe even for England. He spoke up again, but in a mumbled voice. "And I couldn't move and you just walked away wearing your pirate outfit... You turned back to me and said something with a smirk... But I didn't hear it... And there was a collar on my neck so I couldn't reach out to you.." America mumbled, feeling his neck like he had collar on before. He gulped and cringed a bit at explaining it. He kept silent after that.

The whole time he didn't look at England, he was faced the opposite direction. It was hard to tell if he didn't turn his head because he didn't want to or wasn't aware of what direction England was facing.

"You just left me like a tied up dog..." He muttered, scared for how England would react.

America sighed and shook his head, "Well that sounds like a terrible dream..but you know I would never actually leave you America...I only kept you chained up in the basement because I had to punish you.." England paused for a moment before speaking again.

"But I didn't actually leave you, I was in the same house the entire time. And I took you out of those chains eventually.." England sighed once more, leaning on one of his arms. "You know... I felt so guilty after hurting you like that... I didn't want that to happen..I care for you America, seeing you hurt like that made me feel horrible.. .and I wish I could fix what I did but it's to late now, you're already hurt.." He said the last bit so quietly that it was very hard to hear him, he didn't want to appear weak, but wanted to tell America how he felt at the same time.

"Thanks England..." America mumbled then yawned.

"You're welcome," England mumbled.

America drifted off after a few minutes, still needing a lot of sleep in order to recover. When America unconsciously flopped over, it showed something strange. There was a bandage covering his right eye, but his left eye was left uncovered. The nurse probably put the bandage on but why cover only one eye or cover his eyes at all?

England studied America's face for a moment, realizing that he only had a bandage over one of his eyes. Could it possibly be that his blindness was gone in one eye? England could only assume that that was the case. Maybe now would be a good time to read the nurses medical journal on America. England thought to himself, but stood up from the chair, going to get something to eat and a cup of tea before he started reading. He had only eaten an apple earlier.

England walked out of the room and went to the kitchen, ordering one of his cooks to make him a cup of tea and some cake to go with it. The cook soon handed him a plate with a slice of cake on it and a cup of tea, and he walked back to the hospital room carrying it. He sat back down on the chair and put the tea and cake on the bedside table, and grabbed the nurses medical journal. He sighed and began reading it, hopefully there was something about America's blindness going away included in the notes somewhere.

America tossed on his side, not really reacting to England's constant moving around and noise. The nurse's notebook was more filled out and much more organizatied then before, merely because it was a new notebook entirely dedicated to America's health. Her writing was much cleaner and the book had more charts and pictures then before. The notebook had many new interesting and helpful facts.

_Patient Jones/Kirkland, Alfred F. Medical Diary on Recovery. New tracking day 1 of blindness. Notes: America is as usual silent around me. Replaced his old bandages and even removed some. A gash on his leg healed more. Chest and stomach scars seem to be there for permanent. Eye Test: America is blind, but something is off about his blindness. His right eye is completely dull, dead looking, and it's blue color seems more silver/Extremely light blue now while the left eye is the same color blue as it was and has a bit more life in them. Hypothesis: His right eye is permanently blind while his left is recovering. Treatment: Wrapped his right eye just in case but kept his left eye uncovered to see if he will heal from that eye and maybe see better. Alfred stated with his bandage that: "I can make out shapes and such but not really anything. Everything is very blurry," Improvement? Alfred states he had been having nightmares. He described it and I quote- "The dream was me and England. But there were two England's. I had a collar chained around my neck like a dog and crying out for England, but this first England was scary looking. He looked back at me with an evil smirk and mumbled something but I didn't know what he was saying. I don't think it was pleasant. He just walked away. Even though I was chained up and dying he just left. When I turned the other way, there was another England in a gentlemanly outfit and he was crying. Sobbing for forgiveness. I tried to call out that I forgave him but no noise came out. Then I saw me... Next to the crying England. He looked at me and said "Traitors can't be forgiven, you trusted him and loved him and look what happened," then the other me put a gun to his head then I woke up, screaming for England,". How strange. Hypothesis: America is clearly suffering from his attempted revolution. Traumatized still but it seems connected to England more. Did England cause America the most damage? Unsure. England is obviously connected but, in what way? Can't see too into it because I can't make assumptions and upset Arthur. But Alfred could be dying so maybe if I get some sort of statement of some sort from Arthur Alfred would relax more and heal better.'_

What Alfred had told him before about what had happened in his dream wasn't exactly what the nurse had written down. There was more to it. He shuddered when he got to the part in the nightmare quote that said there was this other America holding a gun to his head, maybe that was what America still wanted to do..to separate from him and become his own independent nation. England's eyebrows furrowed in confusion though as he scanned further down the notes, if America woke up screaming for him, then maybe he didn't want to leave..it was all very confusing.

As he got to the last few lines of the page, nearing the end of the notes, he started getting nervous, the nurse obviously knew that he was related to America's injuries somehow. She had written down that she could try to get some sort of statement from him so it would relax America, but what sort of statement did she want? England would be willing to tell her whatever she wanted to hear if it would relax America and help him heal better but he just didn't know what she actually wanted to hear. He could tell her what he had done to America, but what kind of reaction would she give him if she knew? If she reacted badly and told some other people..well..he would have to kill her on the spot.

England finally finished reading it after a few more minutes, and he closed the notebook and put it back on the table. He stared off into space thinking about multiple things, maybe the nurse would ask him about it later.


End file.
